Tammy..short for tamberine

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 01:14:37 GMT

HI!

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 03:08:40 GMT

want everyone who reads this to ask me 4 questions. Any 4, no matter how personal, dirty, private, or random. I have to answer them honestly. In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal, and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

ALSO : yeah you have to reply answering your own questions when I reply!

bummed it off of ezekiel

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 04:54:28 GMT

name: Tammy
nicknames: timmy, chapiz, stimpy,tamifer..tamilia...etc
parents: Beatriz and miguel
age: 18
birthday:Oct 10
eye color: dark brown
siblings: kym and mikey
how do you describe yourself:idiot
what's your sign?:libra
contacts?: no

Have you ever.....

fallen for your best friend?:no
made out with JUST a friend?: no
been rejected?:mmm yeah i guess
been in love?: yeah
been in lust?: not that i know of
used someone?: yes
been used?: yeah..
cheated on someone?:no
been kissed?: yes
done something you regret?:not yet

Who was the last person......

you touched?: kym
you talked to?: argento
you hugged?: kym
you instant messaged?: argento
you kissed?:my love
you yelled at?: mikey
you laughed with?: mikey and kym
you had a crush on?: my love
who broke your heart?: my love

Do you......
color your hair?: not anymore
have tattoos?: yes a cow
piercings?: only my ears
have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: yes
.. own a webcam?: i think we do
.. ever get off the damn computer?: yeah...
sprechen sie deutsche?: ...yes...
.. habla espanol?: si

What are......

you wearing: pjs
current mood: awkward
current music: novelas
current taste: of...?
current hair: nappy
current annoyance: mikeys face
current smell: my farts
current thing I ought to be doing: ..beating mikey
current desktop picture: kyo and iori
favorite band/group: the mars volta
current book: scud head
current dvd in player: mmm my wild arms 3 is in there
current worry: carlos
current crush: my love
current favorite celebrity: vinny jones

Favorite......

food: chicken
drink: water
color: purple
shoes: adidas
candy: pre diabetic
animal: birds
tv show: family guy samurai champloo
class: art
vegetable: carrots
fruit:pears

Are you......

understanding: i try
open-minded: hope so
arrogant: at times
insecure: all the time
interesting: probably not
hungry: no
friendly: depends if i'm moody
smart: maybe
moody: not that time of the month
childish: heh yeah
independent: not completely
hard working: ehhhh..sometimes
organized:only in a time way
healthy: NOOOOO
emotionally stable:ehhh i try
shy: sometimes
difficult: probably
bored easily: mm not really
thirsty: a little
responsible:hope so
sad: not really
happy: mmm alittle
trusting: no
talkative: depends who u are
original: naahh
different: no just there
unique: i wouldn't say so
lonely:not really
a naked bum who likes to run around naked: old guy taking a dump

::sigh::

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 06:22:09 GMT

been a long road to follow
been there and gone tomorrow
without saying goodbye to yesterday
are the memories I hold still valid?
or have the tears deluded them?
maybe this time tomorrow
the rain will cease to follow
and the mist will fade into one more today
something somewhere out there keeps calling
am I going home?
will I hear someone singing solace to the silent moon?
zero gravity what's it like?
am I alone?
is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet
still the road keeps on telling me to go on
something is pulling me
I feel the gravity of it all

she rises from the dead

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 00:36:50 GMT

ehhhh is anybody there....heeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooo...sorry for not updating for like the last couple of eternity..well not much has happened..i moved in with my love..we're doing good, i sometimes miss my family..and argento...::sniff::...hahahaha..anywho...i don't really have much to say..i joined self defense and got my yellow belt..and i'm getting fat..nooooo..i'm going to the gym today so i guess it's gonna be ok...welll..i promise i'll post more and more..(like u guys care)..

...i hate paying rent...

...tammy...

rip my flesh off

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 22:11:50 GMT

The ocean floor is hidden
From your viewing lens
A depth perception
Languished in the night
All my life, I’ve been
Sewing the wounds
But the seeds sprout
A lachrymal cloud

Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Que vas sufrir (You're going to suffer)
Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Salte veneno (Get out the venom)
Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Salte de aqui (get it out of here)
Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Labios temblando (Trembling Lips)
Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Salte veneno (Get out the venom)
Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Salte de aqui (Get it out of here)
Niño preparate (Child, prepare yourself)
Brincan los cuerpos (The bodies get excited)
Vas a sufrir (you're going to suffer)

My nails peel back
When the taxidermist ruined
Goose stepped the freckling impatience
All the brittle tombs
Five hundred little q’s
I’m splitting hairs to
Match the faces
All night long
I’ll hunt for you
Let me show you what I mean
Sangre (blood)
Sonando (ringing)
De rabia nací (from rage i was born)

Now this train don’t lie
An abortion that survived
A lineage of Bastard mastacation
All the severed proof
Talons scratch my suite
These are the feathers
That replace them
All night I’ll hunt for you
Let me show you what I mean
Sangre (blood)
Sonando (ringing)
De rabia nací (from rage i was born)

Who do you trust
Will they feed us the womb
Chrome the fetal mirage
Will they feed us the womb I found the remnants
Of a crescent fang
It cleaned my wing
Down to the bone
Umbilical syllables
Left to decode
There was no cradle
I can taste it
Come on now

All night I’ll hunt for you
Let me show you what I mean
Sangre (blood)
Sonando (ringing)
De rabia nací (from rage i was born)

Who do you trust
Will they feed us the womb
Chrome the fetal mirage
Will they feed us the womb
Bring me this plague
She took a drink
Those nicotine stains
On his every word
My scavenger quilt
Will only hide the truth
Bring me
Bring me this plague
I count the days to find
What was left behind
Only these names I clutch
Will lead me to my home
Somehow this river marks
A wrinkle hand in mine
And everyday that parts
The water into two
Mothers and feathers start
To drown the living proof
I can’t remember these lakes of blood
Wrapped in a blanket
There sweats a cut
Who do you trust
Will they feed us the womb
Chrome the fetal mirage
Will they feed us the womb

oooo

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 22:32:20 GMT

GREEN

??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla

i'll naw at these chains if i have to

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 01:15:42 GMT

Something inside the cards
I know is right
Don't want to live
Somebody elses life
This is what I want to be
And this is what I give to you
Because I get it free
She smiles while I do my time

I could die for you
Oh this life I choose

I'm here to be your only go-between
To tell you of the sights
These eyes have seen
What I really want to do is
Turn it into motion
Beauty that I can't abuse
You know that I'd use my senses to
You can see that
It's only everywhere
I'd take it all and then
I'd find a way to share

Come along and go
Along with me
Wander with me yo
It's all for free

I could die for you
Whatchu wanna do
Oh this life I choose

Come again and tell me
Where you want to go
What it means for me
To be with you alone
Close the door and
No one has to know
How we are

Come along and go
Along with me
Wander with me yo
It's all for free

I could die for you
Whatchu want to do
Oh this life I choose

i told my mother that i am moving out in april..and she told me that i'm trying to live someone elses life..that i was only leaving because melissa brain washed me into it..that i can't make my own decisions yet..because i'm still too imature..oh yeah ..i forgot to tell u guys..i'm movin out..anywho..happy birthday kym..20 years older one day shorter..i'm sorry big sister i didn't mean to tell her on your birthday..i'm really sorry..love i'm sorry i hung up so fast..i was telling mom about my situation..she says my reasons aren't good enough for leaving..oh well..i was never good enough to you so this isn't any different..i don't have to be good enough for you..not anymore..and so that song up there is for my mom and for my love and for all of you..alittle for everybody..::sigh::..well it's back to working on the comic and my license

..i feel like i'm gonna start a new life..

..in 3 weeks...

...tammy..

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 19:51:31 GMT

I'M GONNA START A WEB COMIC !!!!!!!!!!

::sniff::

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 07:13:13 GMT

I can't sleep tonight
Everybody saying everything's alright
Still I can't close my eyes
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights

Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning

I can't stand myself
I'm being held up by an invisible man
Still life on a shelf when
I got my mind on something else

Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning

Oh, where did the blue skies go?
And why is it raining so?
It's so cold
I can't sleep tonight
Everybody's saying everything's all right
Still I can't close my eyes
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of the lights

Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning
Oh, where did the blue skies go?
And why is it raining so?
It's so cold
Why does it always rain on me?
Why does it always rain on....

all i can hear is the sad sounds of these violins

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 04:38:07 GMT

finally a real update..no lyrics..heh..sorry i couldn't describe myself any other way..sorry..heh seems thats all i'm good for these days huh?...hmm anywho..things are kinda ok..i feel crappy right now..oh well i'll get over it..how can you say "but what i think doesn't matter" when u know it does..u say it's partially my fault..maybe it is maybe it isn't..what do i think?..it doesn't matter...heh that last line makes me sound angry..but i'm not..i'm just confused..a part of me says it's my fault and another tells me it's not..a classic battle don't you think?..i can't help but dwell on it..i guess another thing i'm good at..well..what do i do now??..i don't really know..i tried..but maybe she's right maybe i didn't try hard enough..maybe i did..see there's the other side..how am i not suppose to feel bad knowing that you feel like it's partially my fault?..i feel ignorant..because it probably is my fault..because everything is my fault..everything bad is my fault..everytihng is beautiful as long as i'm not there..::sigh:..i don't even know if i was being sarcastic right now..ehh..i still can't describe myself with words..none of this seems to make sense to me..but i'll post it anyway and be on my merry way...i guess..

..maybe a picture would've helped...

...i know the music does...

...tammy...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA good stuff but where's argento?

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 22:32:03 GMT

value="clampprodigy" size="20" maxlength="64"></td></tr><tr bgcolor="#6699CC"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Favorite Color</td><td align="left" valign="middle"><input ... ></td></tr><tr bgcolor="#6699CC"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Favorite Food</td><td align="left" valign="middle"><input ... ></td></tr><tr bgcolor="#6699CC" height="5"><td colspan="2"></td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">In an out-of-state prison</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">ryan_kahuna
</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Still living at home</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">emeraldraco</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">w/ children</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">ninasgotagun</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Cruising through suburbia, trying to act ghetto</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">avengedxashes</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Just divorced 2nd spouse</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">soothingburrito</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Evading child support</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">elvenarcheress</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">In school</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">el_shabutie</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#336699"><td align="left" valign="middle" style="color: #FFFFFF;">Successful with a 6 digit salary</td><td style="color: #FFFFFF; font-weight:bold;" align="left" valign="middle">el_shabutie</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#003366" height="5"><td colspan="2"></td></tr><tr bgcolor="#003366"><td colspan="2" align="center" valign="middle">

</td></tr><tr bgcolor="#003366"><td colspan="2" align="center" valign="middle">

Quiz created by GonePostal at BlogQuiz.Net

</td></tr></table></td></tr></table>Fun Quizzes at Blog Quiz</form>
</div>

i guess i'm just vindicated

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 02:03:32 GMT

Hope, dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
Roped me in so mesmorizing
And so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am...

Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated
So motivated, I am certain now
That I am..

Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defence is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in too deep now
to ever swim against the current

So let me slip away, so let me slip away
So let me slip away, so let me slip against the current
So let me slip away, so let me slip away
So let me slip away, so let me slip away

Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

Like hope, dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

::sigh::

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 07:40:42 GMT

I'm strange
And you're strange
Don't want you to change
No way
Ah ha ha ah

Why can't I explain
Flying to the sun
Without a plane
When you're here
Ah ha ha ah

And don't you worry
'bout me babe
Cuz I'm right here
For you to say
Hope you know
You inspire me
You're a flower
And I'm a bee
I need you
Ah ha ha ah

All this
You do for free
Give me hope
And I can see
You're so true
Ah ha ha ah

And don't you
Worry bout me babe
Cuz I'm right there
For you to say

All the day
All the time
You and I know
You're the waves of my ocean
Here's my ring and my devotion
All the time
All the time
You and I know
You're the waves of my ocean
Here's my ring and my devotion

Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
You're so true
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
You're strange
And I'm strange
Don't want you to change
No way
How can I explain
Flying to the sun
Without a plane
When you're here
Ah ha ha ha

And don't you worry
'bout me babe
Cuz i'm right here
For you to say
Don't you worry
'bout me babe
Cuz I'm right here
For you to say

hmmm

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 06:41:25 GMT

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing.
You could be a champ at chess or Survivor.

Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize.
On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you.

You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through.
Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

What's Your Element?

this is how i've been waking up

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 17:45:37 GMT

we're now up here alone terror on the intercom can someone save us
systems malfunction blast it this damn machine over and out captain
something lurks creeps on the counter top somewhere behind you
parasitic cyst i can't stand to watch it's coming up and out of your chest

remember when we were young
sit up right on the table a photograph of earth feeding me a way back
frightened i tear alone or maybe not the the only one there
hello... hello when it rings will you answer?
there corner tall short stance
it's you come on kill me!!
you made a good friend to me but while you were outnumbered
and torn they made us do good things...

dear god, i don't feel alive when you're cut short of misery
will you pray it be the end? give a look surprise wide eyed to me
then you'll know just what i am the scare that triggers your fear
come know me in a different light come know me as god

run sand hourglass in my time will i be worth?
spin 'round carousel when your horse isn't screwed in

dear god, i don't feel alive when you're cut short of misery (raise forth lost cause)
will you pray it be the end? give a look surprise wide eyed to me (raise forth lost cause)
then you'll know just what i am (subtle demise the legitimate cry)
the scare that triggers your fear come know me in a different light
come know me as god (raise forth lost cause)

face to face

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 08:56:27 GMT

she draws her jagged sword..to face her ultimate enemy..the one that triggers all her fears and insecurity..she draws her sword...at her true enemy..her really nemesis..scared and bleeding her foe lift its head.."have you come to challenge me once more..?"..the girl knows what this demon speaks of ..she lifts her head .." i will put an end to your suffering.."..the demon smirks.."don't you mean yours?"..the girl attacks head on butt the demonis not as weak as she think it might have been.."this love has made you weaker..slower..i will rid you of this burden and.."..the girl strikes again.."No!..this love..i don't want it to go away!!..it's not like it use to be!!"...the demon strikes..

"look at you..you sound like an abused spouse..how certian are you that you're the only one she sees right now..she said that to you before and you ate it up..your stupid naive self!!"

the girl falls to the ground..breathless..how sure could she be?..who's to say she's not being played right now?..."love..."

the girl closes her eyes..that voice..it's so relieving..

"love your the only one who believes in me.."

"love you don't know how important you are to me"
"love you trust me right?"

"right?"

the girl lifts herself up..she wobbles..and grabs her sword..she lifts it up..with tears in her face with all her might she yells..

" i do.."

the demon looks at the now little girl with confusion..a form this demon has never seen before..

" what do you speak of?"

the girl points her blade at the demon..

"you know..i don't know why i'm so certain that she see's only me...i'm not beautiful..i'm super emotional..i don't have a care..i don't give good advice..i'm not good at anything and i'll never be good enough for her..but for some reason she's still with me..she made me human.."

the demon rises in anger

"and thats why you hurt thats why you're different..you never know how to feel about anything you never notice the hurtfull things she's doing to you and yet you stand hear defending her!!.."

"SHUT UP!!..no one said it was going to be easy..this is something i accepted a year ago ..i would rather hurt from love a billion times than to be dead..lifeless..a walking ghost..if she is hurting me on purpose..if she is being unfaithful..than she will pay for it..But not by my hands..i see her and i feel like she really loves me.."

"BAH! she'll leave you after she's done milking you..you're nothing but a convenience to her..she'll always put a beautiful person before you..she only see's how you can benefit her..and your just going along with!"

the girl falls again...

"that maybe true..but you'd have to be completely empty to do something like that to anybody..i want you to rest now..i know you hurt...and i'm sorry..i'm so sorry..but i promise you..i will make you're suffering en.."

the demon strikes with tears

"SHE BETRAYED YOU ONCE ALREADY!!WHY MUST WALK INTO THE LION'S FANGS AGAIN!!...THE PAIN WE ENDURED!!..WE LOOKED LIKE FOOLS....we must you risk it again!! what's to say she's not empty..you can't endure anymore pain..i can't!!"

the girl swings her sword

"but nothing is ever certain...that's what it means to live..i love her..i fell in love with who she has become..and if i am being deceived than i hope she gets what coming to her..but for some reason i feel like she's not.."

the demon falls

"i feel like she is...she has replaced you and you don't even see it.."

everthing is still...
the girl has drawn her sword at her ultimate enemy and the one thing that she doesn't know how to defeat...her sword is drawn at the neck of her enemy...

"please leave us be...i don't want to live in insecurities anymore..i don't want to feel nervous everytime she doesn't call or sounds uninterested in what i'm saying..i want to be normal.."

..at the neck of her true enemy...

"fool...you can't.."

...herself..

...tammy...

tonight...tonight...

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:03:29 GMT

finally..a real post..like you guys care..heh..anyway sorry i've been kinda not here for months with work and school and stuff i guess i kinda forgot about the journal..well alot but then again not alot has happened..my woman has stopped talking to denise..i'm proud of her..but i know this isn't the end..anywho i failed all my classes in college..but i met alot of interesting ppl..my loved moved out into the little back room..it's a really nice place..the bed kinda sucks..mmmmm what else what else...oh yeah jorge came back and it's been really fun...but...lately i've been feeling unimportant and unexistent..like i'm fading away..i sometimes wonder if maybe..if i wasn't melested..maybe i wouldn't feel like this..lately i've been feeling like there's something deep down spreading inside me..like if i ripped through my skin and into myself i could grab it and pull it out..it's something i could do without..it really sucks cause i know my woman has to put up with it..and i feel like it ruins her day..and i guess i just don't feel like..i feel like a chore sometimes..and i hate myself for it...grrrrrrrrr..i can't blame this on being melested..i hate doing that..ehhhhhhhhhhh ...heh if i was just a little bit stronger..alittle bit smarter..alittle bit thinner..then maybe........

my poor live journal is but a mere scape goat to me...

..sorry journal...but i won't call you stupid =)...

ahhhhh what a great way to come back huh?

...tammy...

can you see tha caution tape?

para mi amor

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 04:57:00 GMT

Cuando tu estas conmigo es cuando yo digo
que valió la pena todo todo lo que yo he sufrido
no se si es un sueño aún o es una realidad
pero cuando estoy contigo es cuando digo
que este amor que siento es por que tu lo has merecido
con decirte amor que otra vez he amanecido llorando de felicidad
a tu lado yo siento que estoy viviendo
nada es como ayer

Abrazame que el tiempo pasa y el nunca perdona
ha hecho estragos en gente como en mi persona
abrazame que el tiempo es malo y muy cruel amigo
abrazame que el tiempo es oro si tu estas conmigo
abrazame fuerte muy fuerte y mas fuerte que nunca
siempre abrazame

hoy que tu estas conmigo
yo no se si esta pasando el tiempo o tu lo has detenido
asi quiero estar por siempre aprovecho que estás tu conmigo
te doy gracias por cada momento de mi vivir

tu cuando mires para el cielo
por cada estrella que aparezca amor es un te quiero
abrazame que el tiempo hiere y el cielo es testigo
que el tiempo es cruel y a nadie quiere
por eso te digo

abrazame muy fuerte amor mantenme asi a tu lado
yo quiero agradecerte amor todo lo que me has dado
quiero corresponderte de una forma u otra a diario
amor yo nunca del dolor he sido partidario
pero a mi me toco sufrir cuado con quien crei
en alguien que juro que daba su vida por mi

abrazame que el tiempo pasa y ese no se detiene
abrazame muy fuerte amor que el tiempo en contra viene
abrazame que Dios perdona pero el tiempo a ninguno
abrazame que a el no le importa saber quien es uno
abrazame que el tiempo pasa y ese nunca perdona
ha hecho estragos en mi gente como en mi persona

abrazame que el tiempo es malo y muy cruel amigo
abrazame muy fuerte amor

I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 05:53:51 GMT

Your LJ Christmas Party! by Karen_Walker
Username
You've been
Your Date	_argento
The Party Host/ess	outofit
Dressed as Santa	avengedxashes
Santa's Elf	ksquash411
Stole the Presents	skeletalsexgang
Kissed You Under Mistletoe	artisticaeon
Drunk on Eggnogg	labelmeriot
Knocked Over the Tree	soothingburrito
Still Believes in Santa	emeraldraco
Mr. Grinch	4kiuauitl

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 07:45:49 GMT

Love????? LOVE?!??! are u ok??

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 20:43:37 GMT

MIKEYS AN HONOR ROLL STUDENT!!!! WAY TO GO TITO!!!

...

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 01:38:52 GMT

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
and I'm thinking awful things
and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering the house
like I've never wanted out
and this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'cause they would never do,
I would never do.

i hate me

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 21:45:43 GMT

::sigh::..i'm such a fuck up..yesterday i was gonna do this thing..i was gonna tell her that i wanted to break up..just to see if she'd care..or feel relief...i didn't go through with it..i couldn't..it would hurt too much to say it..so i told her what i was gonna do..but my words got all mixed..nothing came out the way i wanted it to..i wasn't gonna play with ur emotions..thats why i told u..sometimes u act like u don't care..maybe ur playing it off..maybe i'm to sensitive...sometimes i feel like maybe i'm being tricked..i wrote u a letter..i doubt u'll read it..ur probably mad at me..mad about what i could've but didn't do...i don't know..i'm sorry though..for messing up ur day and most likely this day too..everything i wanted to say i said in ur letter...but please don't take me for someone who would mess with someone else's emotions..especially urs...i know i don't have much self esteem..but i'm not that low..

it hurts really bad..

..i'm sorry..my love

..i know ur trying..and ur doing so good

..i've noticed..

..it's just i feel kinda useless right now...

...i don't mean to question ur love for me...

..i just don't want to be toyed with either..

..u scare me sometimes..

..tammy..

this bitter taste in my mouth...

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 05:54:43 GMT

i've lost myself today..and i don't know when i'm gonna find me...or worse off..if i wanna find me..though i hate being lost..i don't know if i have the strength to go look for me..i've dug my own whole and i've didn't notice it until i realized that i can't see anything infront of me..love please help me out..please let me know if my love isn't enough..i can't help but feel like i need to try harder..but i don't know..i woke up not knowing where i am..and i was reminded that it hurt to love this much..but i don't really care..because i know that..i ca never regret it..because i love u too much...i'm everything ur beautiful woman aren't..and i wish it wasn't so...

..this bitter taste in my mouth...

it's so nostolgic

...tammy...

...i'm nothing more than a broken record...